Dear Reese

It’s your fifth birthday, my sweet girl and I literally can’t believe how fast time has flown since I held you for the first time.

You were born into what felt like very incapable hands. From the moment I laid eyes on you, I felt the most intense love followed immediately by the most intense anxiety that I was going to mess it up for you somehow. Everything was hard for us in the beginning. The nursing. The soothing, The sleeping (or lack of it!). I couldn’t put you down long enough to eat and I remember thinking to myself “Will I ever eat with both hands again?” The postpartum hormones play dirty.

But then as days (and really long nights) went by, we found a little rhythm. I could breathe again and started to feel the weight of anxiety lift as we found our stride going to lunch together, walking through target, reading books, and snuggling. You weren’t just my daughter. You became this amazing little friend.

You have taught me more about myself and my own need for sanctification than anything else I’ve ever experienced. To know your sweet spirit is to love you. You have such a forgiving and gracious spirit. I have failed more times than I’d like to count and every time I ask for forgiveness, you are so very quick to say “I forgive you mommy! I love you so much!”

For someone who loves words as much as I do, it’s a testament to your incredible character that I literally can’t describe you. You’re just something that words fall short of wrapping themselves around. You are so joyful. So sensitive. You see things other people miss. You notice people in their pain and you love to rejoice with others in their joy.

You have been a gift from the moment I found out you were growing in my tummy. I’m forever grateful for you. my baby girl.

Thank you for making me a mommy. Thank you for being so patient with me as I’ve fumbled thru this thing called Motherhood. You’ve been a gracious teacher.

I love you, little one. I hope I get to celebrate a hundred more birthdays with you!



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